1 Telephone support. Often people are very distressed by their own behaviour and by the consequences of becoming separated from a partner (and children). This service offers "first aid" help about how to manage the immediate circumstances of feeling desperate. Other helping organisations are listed on page 8. Some people can become intensely suicidal following the split-up from a partner - and often their family as well - suicidal and other very desperate thoughts are quite common. The Samaritans are often a very good source of help at extreme moments. Their national number is, 08457 90 90 90, they also offer an email service email@example.com or you can also ring us on our contact number.
2 Face-to-face meeting. This begins a process of examining just what you need and where it might come from. It might also be the introductory process to undertaking our work.
A face to face meeting takes place in your own home or somewhere very close to where you live. It costs us at least £30 to deliver: this now comes at a cost to you.
3 Intensive courses. These are for people who need to understand the impact of their behaviour on their partner, find out what is wrong with themselves and learn to change their behaviour. A place on a course costs us at least £480, and again since May 2016 this has become a cost rather than on a "make a donation" basis, which was the way we ran for the first 20 years. An initial meeting payment plus £240 must be paid before the offer of a place can be confirmed. The balance may be paid over a much longer period of time but the mechanism for this payment must be set up before thee second half of the course. Reports for Social Services will only be produced when funded by Social Services. Their cost is £380. Reports for Family courts will now be provided, since September 2016. Their cost will be in the price range £75 to £175 depending upon the complexity required required by the court and the amount of reading of related paperwork.
There are concessions for those people on benefits or on low incomes.
(This type of emotion-regulation, behaviour-changing work is very severely underfunded nationally. Support for female victims is now very substantial, Women's Aid in Birmingham and Solihull for example had income of approximately £4m in the last financial year, REFUGE £10.5m Women's Aid associated projects in Northamptonshire had approximately £1.7. Funding to help men - and women - change their unacceptable behaviours is almost totally absent, mainly because of and blocked by the politics.
If you do not need to undertake this work but would like to contribute to the initiative then please read more about this at The Big Give. We are a bums-on-seats organisation, no office, no co-ordinators, no non-productive meetings, no excessive expense, just work - with those that need it.
Call 0121 270 6168 or 0203 286 4482 or 01604 211445 and get paperwork by post, with application forms, etc. Alternatively email: firstname.lastname@example.org
You can get it emailed to you, print out an application form yourself
and either scan and email it back, to email@example.com or request that
it is filled out when someone comes to see you.
You can download booklets and application forms, via this link
Referrals are taken from Solicitors, GP Surgeries, Social Services, Mental Health Teams, other voluntary organisations and of course self referrals.
Clients range from "mild" to "severe" but are rarely "very severe". Their behaviour will vary from case to case including being violent and or aggressive and or abusive. Clients may of course be male or female in any orientation of a couple relationship or indeed be dealing with issues of concern from a previous couple relationship.
Reports from the course have been accepted in County, Magistrates and the combined Family Courts in Northampton, Birmingham, Coventry, Luton, Bedford, Bromley, Nottingham, Northampton, Cambridge, Worcester, Warley, Wolverhampton, Exeter, Milton Keynes, Peterborough, Gloucester, Watford County Court, Hertford FPC, Croydon County Court, and others.
More than 120 cases have been commissioned by social services teams including more that 12 cases involving females, albeit none in the last 5 years. All female abusers are, in our experience, being forwarded to the Freedom Programme.
TEMPER Eagle House, 28 Billing Road, Northampton, NN1 5AJ
TEMPER is a registered charity. Registration number 1081139
And a company limited by guarantee: 3890623
Our work is not right for everybody. But in fact we decline to work with very few people.
Some people might not have enough concentration to be able to do it. They might need to wait a while first and process other problems.
For some people this type of work is not appropriate, they need much longer-term work.
Some people are going to need much greater support than we are able to offer.
For a very small number of people that contact us their level of abusiveness does not merit the level of investment we would all have make. We simply tell them that.
Sometimes a person who is essentially the victim approaches us to try to "put their partner right".
People from vastly differing backgrounds take part. Virtually all of the work is practical. There is very little reading and no writing needed other than for your own purposes of taking brief notes.
You can find course start dates on page 3. Caution: Very occasionally we have to cancel a course at the last minute because there is not enough finance with which to run it, or because individuals have dropped out at the last minute, leaving the group too small to be viable.
The course is absolutely exhausting. The amount of learning at a very fundamental level and your "emotional content" will leave you feeling very drained. If you are in work and you are able, we suggest you should take the Monday off work to recover from the loss of rest and also from the intensity of the work.
For partners needing support we try to attach partners up to other organisations so that there are no conflicts of interest and we are not seen as "taking sides" or of having a couple trying to "talk to one another through the organisation". We believe it is safer for all concerned that one organisation should not be responsible for "both sides". Marriage Care, Victim Support, Women's Aid, Men's Aid and Mankind are very likely useful sources of help.
Where a partner cannot access these services we then link them to our telephone support line and Nikki, Ruth or Maggie.
Social Services referred cases.
often want work carrying out in a double quick period of time. Our
effort is to get to see a client within 2 weeks of their being referred.
If a course is coming up and there are still spaces available then
obviously we try even harder.
However! We work at
weekends for the very good reason that most people can attend at
weekends. Maybe 1 client a year of about 50 is disadvantaged because
they also work at weekends and cannot get free. But for others that work
at weekends or on shifts it is a real problem and social services need
to be aware of this when they refer a client. To book time off is not
usually something that can be done from one day to the next. We now
recommend that clients in shift work need to be referred about 6 weeks
before the work is needed, two weeks for us to get to the client and
then 1 whole month within which to arrange a weekend off, so that they
are not blocked from attending because of work. In the past people
sometimes "pulled a sicky". The zero contract hours now often means that
this is no longer an option, many workers feel they will not get more
work is they pull a sicky. For those people paid a salary - well who
cares, but for those near to the breadline the loss of two days' pay is a
major blow; the loss of work is a nightmare! It's likely to increase
tensions dramatically in situations which are already very tense, or
DVPP's For people in court or facing Cafcass.
Temper's is a non-accredited programme. We shall never be accredited to RESPECT. We view the work they advocate as non-effective and in consequence potentially dangerous for children as well as for women and for men.
A court or Cafcass may be trying to persuade you to undertake a DVPP - a domestic violence perpetrator programme. This will imply that it must be an accredited programme - the accreditation is by a self-appointed organisation, RESPECT. It may be a good idea to approach the court with the suggestion that Temper's work is the equivalent of a DVPP in the essential content but with the added benefits that people complete the work and also the price is very much more modest.
To this can be added many arguments which we will list below and which you may need to present to your court in your case.
1) The work RESPECT advocates and insists on is misplaced.
2) The accredited work is ineffective. It is more interested in ideology than outcomes with men.
3) Power and control is not the main issue to be worked with, emotional regulation is.
4) "Abusers and victims" are not clear cut divisions between men and women.
5) A recognition there are male victims does not recognise there are female abusers! Treatment?
6) In most relationships both people are both victim and abuser.