1 General
2 Services
3 When & Where
 4 Participants
5 For Partners
6 Pro-Feminism
7 Testimonials
8 Other programmes

Contact Information:
You can email: temperdv@gmail.com
Call Northampton: 01604 211 445
Call Birmingham: 0121 270 6168
North London: 02032864482
Or text: 07833143724
A fax is no longer available.

Other counselling services can be found at Counselling-directory

View with extreme caution 27 plus week programmes - they are likely to be largely ineffective.
Respect's current accredited programme list is here
1.  Screams in Silence*-Cheshire (Stockport) *specialists South Asian communities  
2.  Safe Domestic Abuse Team, NSPCC-Cumbria (Barrow in Furness)  
3.  Let Go Project-Cumbria (Penrith)  
4.  Ahimsa-Devon (Plymouth)  
5.  REPAIR-Devon (Barnstaple)  
6.  Reportedly not working 8th Jan 2014 REPAIR-Devon (Exeter)  
7.  Reportedly not working 8th Jan 2014  REPAIR-Devon (Newton Abbot)  
8.  Family matters-Dorset (Bournemouth)   Closed?
9.  Families without Fear-Greater London (Camden)    Abuser programme Closed?
10.  SIRI behavioural health*-Greater London (Haringey) *specialists African and African Caribbean communities  
11.  DVIP*-Greater London (Hammersmith) *Includes Al Aman project, specialists Arabic speaking communities  
12.  DVIP-Greater London (Southwark)  
13. RELATE  - Barking and Dagenham)  
14.  The Men's Centre-Greater London (Islington)  
15.  Tryangle Project-Greater London (Greenwich)   Closed?
16.  Hampton Trust*-Hampshire *operates at more than one site but details not given)  
17.  Pendle DV Initiative-Lancashire (Pendle)  
18.  Domestic Violence Integrated Response Project-Leicestershire (Leicester)  
19.  INPACT-Merseyside (Knowsley)  
20.  Merseyside Abusive Partner Programme-Merseyside (St Helens)  
21.  NSPCC: Liverpool-Merseyside (Liverpool)  
22.  S.A.F.E.-North Yorkshire (Scarborough)  
23.  S.A.F.E.-North Yorkshire (Redcar)  
24.  Relate Northamptonshire,  (Northampton)   12 week motivational interviewing focus
25.  Somerset Change-Somerset (Yeovil)   Closed
26.  Somerset Change-Somerset (Bridgewater)   Closed.
27.  Walsall DVF Ltd (SAFE)-Staffordshire (Walsall)   Closed.
28. South Tyneside Domestic Abuse Perpetrator Programme -Tyne and Wear (South Shields)  29.  Surestart Newcastle-Tyne and Wear (Newcastle)  
30.  Chrysalis-North Tees (Stockton)  
31.  Chrysalis-North Tees (Hartlepool)  
32.  Relate Coventry-West Midlands (Coventry)   Closed
33.  S.T.O.P.-West Yorkshire (Leeds)   Believed to have closed
34.  8 days a week-West Yorkshire (Bradford)   closed
35.  SPLITZ support services-Wiltshire (Trowbridge)   no longer on the accredited list
36.  SPLITZ support services-Wiltshire (Salisbury) WALES   no longer on the accredited list
37. Montgomeryshire Family Crisis Centre-Powys  
38  March 2008-Relate Greater Manchester. March 2008
39  Peterborough Family services      Independent
Notes: -  Many of the above projects take referrals from a wider geographical area than the town / borough they are based in.

Work with domestic abusers   Our work emerged from RELATE in 1994. We immediately recognised that work with abusers was potentially too dangerous for a single agency to engage in, and that RELATE risked too much of its good reputation to work with a client group where potentially a great deal can go wrong.  We separated. We have been regularly delivering this type of work since 1996, in very much the same format, because it largely works, but with the improvements in content which the delivery of over 140 courses  can provide.    For many years we have worried about the impact of RESPECT on this type of work. RESPECT claim to represent "Best practice", practice in which the public and funders can have confidence!  For a long time we were amazed at their claims but it is only recently, from our reading, we have begun understand just what their view of "best practice" is about, and just why they are seeking to impose it.   A corner stone of work with abusers, I would suggest, is that it must be as effective as possible. It may not "solve" every abuser's problems, but it must address the problems. If it fails to address them it was useless for the client, useless for a partner and any children of the family, and useless for society.  Problems No 1.  Abusers come in both sexes, more men than women, but both sexes, so why would RESPECT wish to prevent work with abusive women? Problem No 2 Abusers are also found in each type of sexual relationship, heterosexual, gay and lesbian. So why would RESPECT claim that it could only be dealt with when it involved men being abuive to women? Problem No 3. There is also a very wide spectrum of abuse, a kind of continuum, but not necessarily a continuum along which all abusers will progress.   The radical  feminist movement of the 70s and 80s developed a stereotype abuser, he has gradually been funneled into "a coercive controller", always, of course, a male.  Popularly - perhaps unpopularly - he is called a "snake", an "intimate / urban terrorist". It is always a HE, despite the now recognised facts that in 2008 14.9% of domestic abuse (at least) was by women on men and now by 2013 that figure is 19.7%.   The coercive controller / intimate terririst does exist. I have interviewed many more than 1,250 men and women and I have met him certainly on no more than 20 at most. But this is not to say that he does not exist much more often, amongst the cases which go to court and get prosecuted, for example. Obviously we only see a self "selected" cross-section, which is not going to be representative. But ACPO, also estimated his occurence in the UK at 22,321.   I am going to suggest that the radical feminist movement believes that "violent men do not change - the only thing for a woman to do is to leave him." That was certainly Sandra Horley's view when she addressed a conference in Northampton in 1994, those were her exact words. The radical feminist movement understandably wants to protect women. In those days they had very little money with which to run refuges.  According to Wikipedia  REFUGE can now afford to allow 1 member of staff to pocket a vast amount in salary and pensions.  For Duluth's plans to be realised work with abusers needed to take place. They didn't want to do it, realising that it would bring them into exactly the same conflicts that the police had experienced for years before. They also wanted this work to fail.  So, when the opportunity arose in 1991 they founded the Domestic Violence Intervention Project (DVIP) in London. They made certain requirements. Those requirements still form the basis of DVIP and RESPECT to this day.  They are the fundamental problems that this type of   work encounters today, with the exception that they now "appear" to be based on knowledge gained from within, after all this time and experience. They are, in fact, still based on "stereotypes taken from without".

The following book throws enormous light on the machinations of feminism.
"Co-ordinating Community Responses to Domestic Violence - Lessons from Duluth and Beyond" Melanie Shepherd and Ellen Pence.  

Times surrounding later stages of pregnancy and the arrival of babies can be particularly difficult.
These are times of enormous change, and usually great uncertainty on everybody's part.
Sometimes there are anxieties about  who  the father is, it is almost a worry for every father, but such doubts are, of course, potentially an enormous and divisive insult for a mother.
Very often there are anxieties  about  the mother's  health. Death in child-birth used to be a very common occurrence.  The baby's  health is also critical to a couple,  There is just so much that can go wrong, and when it does, there is frequently nowhere to take the problem.
Speak with us on the phone about it and follow the links later which will help you to other sources of help.
A significant number of mothers experience "baby blues" through to a full-blown post natal depression. This is a very significant illness and you will definitely need professional help for the mother, usually via your doctor or health visitor, and very probably support for yourself. The vast, vast majority of mothers recover very well, but the problems last and last, the recovery is usually over 3 month and 6 month periods. You will both need a lot of support from a wide range of people.

The death of a near relative, particularly a parent, or a child, will almost inevitably  raise enormous tensions, for a whole variety of reasons, as do  bad  accidents, and, at one level, to a somewhat lesser extent, severe illnesses or unemployment.
Soldiers or other military personnel returning from war zones or other very stressful situations are another phenomena which does not cause domestic abuse /  violence but, where it is present, it often increases the frequency and severity.